Wife finally let me turn the furnace on.
What is this furnace you speak of?
Well since this is the football thread
Two touchdowns.

My wife wanted me to. I said nope.
Excellent! We'll turn them on together November 1st!
He should have married strong Russian peasant woman instead of a scrawny Canadian.
Wait, heβs gay?
59 degrees in my house right now, that's plenty warm!
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